Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Randomize
