Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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