you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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