I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
