Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Randomize
