I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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