I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
