i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
