Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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