I think scott just propositioned me for sex
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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