Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize