there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
now i know why i became what i already was.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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