Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
