I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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