i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
His hands were made for my vagina.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
