you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
