I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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