well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
