i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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