i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
