Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Randomize
