Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Success! We fucked roommates!
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
