Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
