I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
