so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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