I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
