dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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