he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
