Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
