Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Pants 0. Shit 1.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Randomize
