so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
