I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
