idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
