He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
You're like the curious george of whores
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
