I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
