why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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