Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Randomize
