O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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