69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i wish my penis had a tongue
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
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