I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
