I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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