I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
