I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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