The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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