Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
