It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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