I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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