turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
