my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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