see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I think my vagina is haunted
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
